If you’ve enjoyed a long-term relationship for years, and suddenly feel unsatisfied, it could be that some of the small, dysfunctional things both of you are doing are having a negative impact. Here’s what you shouldn’t to if you want to maintain a happy relationship:
1. Using the bathroom together
It might be challenging to avoid using the bathroom at the same time as your spouse. The house might have only one toilet, or you need to get ready for work at the same time. In some cases, it might be impossible to avoid being inside the utility room with your partner. But, if getting ready for work while the significant other is using the toilet becomes a daily habit, think about the damage it might do to your marriage. Over time, the sense of mystery and excitement between the two of you might fade away. If both of you want to remain special in the eyes of the other, make the bathroom use an individual thing. It’s normal to break the rule from time to time, as long as it’s not regular.
2. Treating the spouse as a punching bag
Do you feel like you’re lashing out at your spouse to compensate for not being able to do it with the people who actually got you angry? Treating the significant other as a punching bag is a recipe for disaster. What was once a respectful relationship will soon turn into a hot mess of a toxic relationship filled with disrespect and humiliation. Remember the time when you felt embarrassed for accidentally cursing in front of the partner? You need to get that respectful approach back unless you want to end up being enemies with someone you truly care about.
3. Losing boundaries
If disrespect and humiliation became a daily part of your relationship, ask yourself this question: Do you treat each other the way you would never allow yourself to treat anyone else? If demeaning behavior, cursing, lashing out and other toxic forms of behavior became normal in your relationship, the two of you might have lost all sense of boundaries. If you treat each other the way you would never treat your friends and family, you’ve gone too far. Just because someone is an intimate partner, it doesn’t mean you have the right to act anyway to feel like. If you’ve lost a sense of boundaries, work towards establishing them. It might save your relationship from falling apart.
4. Living according to one person’s timetable
No matter how compliant one person can be with the demands of the other, both of their lives deserve equal attention. If you feel like your relationship hit a bump in the road, but can’t figure out why you suddenly feel so unsatisfied, it’s possible that one of the partners is dominating the timetable and mutual time schedule. If you’ve reached the point where you can’t agree on anything because one of you always expects the other to arrange their plans according to their work and activity schedule, it might be the time to visit the marriage counselor.